The Fallout
by lifeluver
Summary: 10 unseen scenes dealing with the breakup and subsequent fallout in season five, in no particular order.


Barney took a deep breath, staring at the bar door. Robin was supposed to be talking to the gang right then, letting them down gently. They had decided it'd be best if she was the one to do it.

Or rather, he'd chickened out like a little bitch, as Lily would say.

Crap, what would Lily say?

She'd probably be angry. She had put a lot of effort into getting them together, after all.

Or maybe she'd just be disappointed. Disappointed that he'd managed to fuck this up so bad, so fast. But not surprised.

But she'd probably just pity him. Poor Barney, couldn't hold on to Robin for longer than a few months. Poor Barney, getting dumped by the girl of his dreams.

God, he loathed pity. He couldn't stand the way Marshall had looked at him when he found out about Shannon, how Lily had talked to him after Ted de-broed him, how Ted had touched him after the bus accident.

Barney Stinson did not need anyone's pity.

Slowly he opened the door.

He'd show them.

XXXxxxXXX

"What happened to your perfect week?" she asked disinterestedly as he slid into the booth across from her.

"She heard us celebrating. Apparently she doesn't want to be some guy's "conquest." Whatever. The Barnacle will rise again."

"Nice," said Robin shortly, looking towards the door impatiently.

Not noticing her cool tone, or perhaps just ignoring it, Barney added, "Don't tell the others. It's a nice story." He smiled hesitantly at her, as if he was sharing something private with her. Sharing something she was no longer privileged to know.

"Is that all life is to you? Means to a story? A legendary tale?" Robin asked angrily, finally giving him her full attention, her eyes blazing.

Barney winced at her tone, looking like he'd just been slapped. "What's up with you Sherbatsky? Did Ted finally take that stick out of his ass and shove it up yours?"

"Oh nice. Really charming, Barney. You know what? Fuck it. I've gotta go." And with that she snatched up her purse and stomped out, leaving Barney with his jaw hung open, alone in the deserted bar, and footing her considerable tab.

XXXxxxXXX

"You're missing the movie," Robin mutters as she comes into the kitchen to get a beer. Barney's standing in a corner, away from the smoke alarm, lighting up.

"It's Die Hard. I've seen it a thousand times before," he answers, inhaling deeply.

Robin, not particularly eager to get back to her friends, leans awkwardly against the refrigerator. "I thought you loved _Die Hard._ Besides, its a Christmas tradition."

"Well I don't see you watching either. Get off my back, would you Sherbatsky?"

"God, what's your problem?" she hisses, lowering her voice so their friends wouldn't hear. "I'm trying to be nice here."

"Now you want to be nice? So you completely ignore me for a month, and now you want to be friends again? Want to go LazerTagging?" he leaned in close, his nose nearly touching hers, venom dripping from every word.

His jaw was set, and his blue eyes shone with anger, hurt, and just a hint of loneliness, and without thinking, Robin grabbed his face and kissed him.

His breath smelt of cigar smoke and cheap beer, and a slight stubble grazed her cheek. For a moment he was too shocked to react, but he quickly, expertly relaxed into her grip and his tongue entered her mouth hungrily. Praying that the others were too engrossed in the movie to notice anything, Robin threw caution to the wind and unbuttoned Barney's pants as he pushed her up against a wall.

xxxXXXxxx

"I didn't sleep with her."

"Well congratulations to her. Dodged a bullet."

"God, Robin, what the hell do you want from me?" Barney exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "You said you didn't want me to sleep with her, so I didn't. What's wrong now?"

"I never said that. I don't give a shit what you do, do whatever the fuck you want. I don't have to worry about getting any STDs from you anymore, I don't care."

For a while, he was silent and Robin wondered if she went too far. Maybe she'd crossed the line, that line that she had always known existed, even if he hid it.

"You're the one who said we had to go back to normal. That's what I'm doing. I'm doing what you asked," he said carefully, softly, like a chastised boy.

Robin's eyes finally softened and she buried her head in her hands. "This isn't normal. Normal isn't sleeping with as many girls as possible a week after we broke up. This is...more."

Slowly she raised her head to make eye contact, searching his face for understanding, but he just looked blankly back at her.

"I don't like you this way," she whispered.

Barney's eyes hardened, his mouth pursed, and he immediately looked away.

"Well as I remember it, you didn't like me that much before either. Or at least, not enough."

With that, he walked swiftly out of the bar, slamming the door behind him, undoubtedly to catch the girl he'd set loose just a few minutes earlier. Robin watched him go, ignoring the pangs in her stomach and her restless legs, desperate to chase after him.

"Yes I did," Robin said to dead air.

xxxXXXxxx

"It shouldn't be this hard," Robin stated as she pulled up a seat next to Barney.

Barney sighed and rubbed his fingers over the bridge of his nose, looking momentarily all of his thirty four years. "I know. That's why we broke up, remember? Message received."

"No. _This _shouldn't be so hard. When Ted and I broke up," Barney exhaled impatiently but Robin pressed on. "When we broke up it was hard and it sucked every day for months. But we didn't keep deliberately hurting each other like this."

"I don't know what to tell you, Robin. I'm not Ted. Clearly."

xxxXXXxxx

"I'm not the bad guy in this story."

"Um...ok."

"You're acting like I'm somehow to blame for all of this. Well I'm not."

"Whatever, Robin."

"I'm not! You're the one sleeping around with anything that moves, just to prove you can. And then you go around ignoring me like I've wronged you. Well I'm sick of it. I've done nothing wrong."

"So you didn't jump into bed with your charming, pantsless co-anchor two hours after meeting him? And you haven't been secretly dating him for the past three months, while acting all 'hurt' and 'lonely' over what mean, jackass Barney did?"

"...Fuck off."

"Hypocrite."

xxxXXXxxx

"Go away!" Barney shouted, his voice lost in the deafening din of the crowded club.

Robin rolled her eyes and took him by the collar, taking care to flash him a bit of her gun beneath her coat and yanked him away from the circle of onlookers.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she screamed, her voice cracking noticeably once they were out on the sidewalk, the blistering wind whipping at her cheeks, making her eyes water.

"That was none of your business," came the slurred, resentful response.

"Right, it's none of my business if you get yourself killed. God, sometimes I really hate you, do you know that?"

"Well right back at you, Sherbatsky." The nickname, always used as a term of endearment from him, was now spit out with disdain.

Robin took a deep breath and studied him under the shine of the streetlight. He had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't slept in months. The lower half of his face was coated with drying blood, and his nose was banged up from where that jealous asshole had tried to bash his face in. He was also holding his left arm awkwardly from when he had fell on the hard linoleum floor.

"Come here," she said firmly. At first she thought he was going to ignore her, but after a moments pause, he slowly approached her, his face hanging in what she could only hope was some amount of shame.

Gently, she touched his eye where a bruise was already forming, ignoring his wince of pain.

"You look like hell."

"Admit it, you're a little turned on," Barney muttered, a glint in his eye that she hadn't seen in months just barely visible. Robin couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Come on, you need to go to the hospital."

"Nah, I'll be fine. Really. Just don't tell the others, please." He looked at her with those puppy dog eyes, and Robin knew resistance was useless. With a wink Barney turned around and started towards the curb to hail a cab.

"Come on, I took Marshall's Fiero. It's in the back."

"Thanks."

"Shut up."

Barney laughed and Robin smiled contently. She missed hearing him laugh genuinely.

xxxXXXxxx

"Don dumped me."

"I just got a drink thrown in my face."

"I win."

"I'm sorry, Robin."

"No, you're really not. Go ahead and gloat. I know you want to."

"To be fair, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Sorry. That he dumped you."

"...Well, I'm sorry I got dumped, anyway."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"He was nice enough and all, just...not special or anything. But he didn't have to do it on air."

"That was kind of harsh. Your face was priceless though."

"You watched?"

"I TiVo'ed."

xxxXXXxxx

"Hello?" breathed a sleepy and disoriented voice on the other side of the line. He was always so confused when he first woke up, she remembered.

"Hello?" he said again, this time a hint of impatience and annoyance in his voice. He'd always hated prank callers too; he thought if they were going to do it, they should have something funny, not just sit there silently.

"Who is this? Fuck it, I'm hanging up." He was probably sitting up now, exasperated. He always had trouble falling asleep after she woke him up.

"Robin?" he whispered, quietly and unsure. "Is that you?"

Without hesitation Robin hit the off button on her phone and hurled it across the room, as if getting it as far away from herself as possible would destroy the evidence.

He wouldn't bring it up, and she wouldn't admit it. That's how it always worked.

xxxXXXxxx

"Do you think we're ever going to fall in love? Or are we just cursed to wander the land drunk and alone, always looking for something that we can never find?"

Robin took another drink from her scotch as Ted waxed poetic (and inebriated) about his inability to find the one. Barney rolled his eyes, and tried once again to change the subject to a couple of hot coed girls at the bar, but Ted was having none of it. He was in one of his moods, and they both knew it would be impossible to change his course.

Luckily, their presence at these pity parties was really more optional than necessary.

Ten minutes later when they had both managed to escape unharmed, Robin was uncorking a bottle of whiskey stolen from behind the bar while Carl was stuck in Ted's orbit.

"I hate it when he talks like that. He always ends up falling madly in love, like five minutes later," Robin said, passing the bottle to Barney, perched on top of a dumpster behind the bar.

"Yeah. Then it's wingman down, for a good five or six months."

"Hey Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"I've missed this."

"Getting drunk and making fun of Ted?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, me too."

Silence overcame them and Robin stared at Barney for a long time.

xxxXXXxxx

"What are we doing?"

"I have no idea. And I think...I think maybe that's ok."


End file.
